The Better Place
by 4chantinychat
Summary: As John Note is forced into a mental hospital for the criminally insane, he gets to meet the colorful characters which pride /4chan. - Ice


"ROFL WTF ARE YA GUISE DOIN'?" Exclaimed John Note.

The security guy winced as his louds words thundered over the hallway. He ignored the question and tried vainly to get the tall, godly, handsome Asian man into the waiting room. He might as well been trying to move a rock. He sighed desperately, and turned to him.

"Please just follow me sir, this is protocol." He added, and pointed to the hospital name sign.

It read: 4CHINZ: The hospital for the criminally insane.

"FUK THE DIE! YOU'RE STUPID WORM! I AM A GOD! "

The guard looked perturbed and reached for his work phone. He quickly dialed his partner's number and requested back up. His oversized partner was quick to appear, more confident at the job than he was, he was sure he could rely on him.

"Glad to see you Mike. I'm having a bit of a trouble with this one." The guard exhaled.

"Not a problem." Mike replied rather haughtily.

"AY YOU TRYNNA PICK A FIGHT, WORM?" John, the all-powerful knowing entity wisely boasted.

John instinctually knew how much of a beta Mike was. It was one of his sensory abilities. Even as he felt Mike host himself onto his shoulder, John was convinced that he was still in the position of power. After all, how could he not be? Mike was a measly worm compared to him, John could bust out his yoga stretches anytime to disable him.

The tall, muscular man put him down on a seat, and John grimaced as he felt the cold chair cool his bottom. This situation could prove to be very un-god- acceptable. He needed a heated seat! But as he pondered upon his predicament, he almost felt the silence around him. He looked up, a guarded frown on his face.

Around him in a circle of chairs were multiple people, some in straight jackets, others not.

"So, John, this is the _trust_ cycle." Mike exclaimed giddily. His feet stumbled as he moved behind John, he patted him lightly on the back.

"Go on, introduce yourself. Tell them your hobbies."

Johns hooded eyes narrowed further. He clearly understood how important first impressions were, and in this new tiny society of people, he would – unfortunately- be around for quite some time, he would have to leave a lasting memory. It was here where his brilliance would be noted, it was here where he'd set the groundwork for his total domination of the 4chinz people.

With a mighty push to the floor, his feet bore him up to a standing position, strong and ready for confrontation.

"UHM, HEY' YALL. IM JOHN NOTE, AKA EZMILS888 AND I AM LITERALLY A GOD." He said, dauntless.

As he got no reply, he shrewdly added:

"AND YOUR MAST-EEER…" There, he thought, that ought to do it.

"Hey John-" A patient started, it was custom to say: Hey X, when someone introduced themselves. Efg knew this to be a clever way of communicating, he had read it in a book once.

Suddenly John noticed two things.

An alarm had gone off, and all the lights turned off, replaced instead be red ominous light, which flickered back and forth. A neon sign at the middle off the room had been turned on, and flickered in pace with the lights.

 **TRIGGER WARNING**

 **…**

 **TRIGGER WARNING**

 **…**

 **TRIGGER WARNING**

 **…**

 **TRIGGER WARNING**

 **…  
**

The second thing John noticed, besides the terrified looks of the patients, was that one of the men in a straight jacket had started shaking, reeling in anger. He was a peculiar odd man. He was awfully pale, and his eyes spoke of darkness only obtained by intense loneliness and years of relying on child pornography as a substitute for emotional fulfillment.

But his looks only further added to the oddity. His dark hair was tousled and lines of bald streaks etched from his forehead to the top of his head. His nose clearly spoke of Jewish ancestry, though his mouth was covered in a badly fashioned mustache, complete with a neck beard.

The man opened his mouth, causing other frightened patients to wallow in despair of what was to come, curling up into balls on the chairs.

He sucked in air, filling his tiny, dyel lungs with air and then the scream came. A scream so eerie, so rattling that even John felt uncomfortable.

"RRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Mike, the security guard by John's side, shook uncontrollably.

"Shit!" He cried, and looked to the other 3 guards at the back of the room, which were experiencing the same distress as Mike was.

"Jeff's been triggered! Get the fuck over here!" He tried to communicate, but his pleads of help were drowned out by the man's next words.

"U FUCKING LITTLE SHIT GOOK" The man screamed, John observed with fascination as saliva flew out of his mouth vigorously. Jeff stood up from his chair, taking no time to catch his balance as he continued.

"I AM THE MASTER HERE U LITTLE PIG"

John gasped affronted. How dare that little worm think he had any chance of standing up to him? With a smirk, since John knew that the outcome of the little banter had already been decided, he was omnipotent after all, he replied back.

"YA CALLIN ME A PIG, LITT-LE WOOOORMMHM?"

"GET HELP! GUYS COME OVER HERE!" Screamed Mike. The rest of the guards neared Jeff, but their need to cringe away from the small angry manlet was too much.

"We can't! It's just way too much! He hasn't showered for weeks!" His partners replied.

" This has gone far enough! GET KUSH!" Mike screamed.

And like small rodents discovering a trail of crumbs, one after the other, the security guards yelled.

"GET KUSH!"

"GO GET KUSH!"

"GET KUSH!"

\- Ice 


End file.
